A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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