apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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