He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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