It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
