At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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