his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
