I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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