You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
