i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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