I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
