thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
