there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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