Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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