dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
either way he was missing a nipple.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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