i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
