Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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