took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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