I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
