i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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