I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
