I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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