who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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