Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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