Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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