I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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