Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
