Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
