See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
