is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
