So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Come on in and take your pants off
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