Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
