I puked a lego.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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