i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He shit in the fireplace
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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