i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
