A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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