glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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