i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you will always have a special place in my vag
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
