That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize