in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
