shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
