I am puke
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
