Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
