The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
