My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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