my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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