Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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