I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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