i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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