meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
