so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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