Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
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The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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