you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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