just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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