I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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