Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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