Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
