i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
