This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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